My First Day as a School Parent

unnamed-3.jpg

unnamed-2.jpg

I just dropped Harper off at school. Didn’t cry a single tear, not even almost. My heart swelled with love and pride for my kind-hearted boy.

As soon as we walked onto the playground Harper put his backpack down next to a tree and said “it’s okay mom, you can go now, I’m okay by myself.” I laughed and told him to go play, I wanted to stay a little. I watched him swing, going high without a push, I watched him yell and wave at the kids he knew and I knew he was more then ready to be there.

He’s going to do great and have a blast being in school, he has always thrived in groups. I, unlike many moms facing kindergarten for the first time, was ready for him to take this huge step, my biggest issue is understanding how is it possible that I am old enough to have a kid in school? I feel like I just graduated and was married last year, now I have 3 kids and one is old enough to be away from me all day? It’s mind boggling and at the same time a reminder of how exciting life is, cliche but also how quickly it goes. I remember when he was a baby I’d think about this day and consider that I’d be fairly young, as I was only 24 (6 days from 25) when he was born, thinking I might be one of the younger moms. However now that that day has arrived (probably due to having 3 kids and being a parent for 5 years now) I don’t feel young, I feel thrusted into middle age by the 3 that proceeds the zero as well as the fact that I have a kid in school.

unnamed-1.jpg

Walking home, alone, I wasn’t sad. I wondered how we got to this place- How was I old enough to have a kid in school?! I mentally tried to recall everything I’d put in his backpack, did he have his snack, the party money, all his school supplies- what did I forget? Am I trustworthy enough to be a parent of a school aged kid? I now have to be responsible for making sure he does his homework, wakes up early enough and eats enough even when I’m not around. And now all this stuff matters and truly affects the outcome of his future! I feel like I just got past the fear of SIDS with him and now I’m suddenly worried about creating good homework habits.

One thing I realized about myself as mother today, I am a mama bird. I’m not a tiger-mom, helicopter-mom, mama bear, dragon-mom or any of those slightly terrifying parenting pictures. I love my kids, I keep them safe and close but when they are ready to fly I push them out and watch them fail or soar. And it’s at that point that I find the most enjoyment, watching them grow and become people, individuals outside of us.

 

 

Advertisements

Neutral Baby Wish List

Screen Shot 2015-10-16 at 4.07.22 PM

 

Not knowing the sex of baby 3 has not deterred my online browsing. There are a few things I plan on looking at specifically (new swaddle blankets) once we know if this baby is a boy or girl but for now it looks like I love black, white and grays. Some of the things on my list:
1. HALO Bassinest– At first I didn’t think we needed a bassinet, just our handy dandy pack and play that has the bassinet option. Then I remembered what a pain in the butt it is to get out of bed past the pack and play, scooting down to the edge of the bed or squeezing my thighs in-between the bed and bars of the p’n’p. Not fun. AND THEN I found this handy dandy thing on Amazon. It has a skinny base, is easily moved and swivels in a full circle but the best part: the bar closest to the bed drops down for easy transitions of sleepy baby from bed to basinet. Now I’m thinking this might be a must.
2. Sakura Bloom chambray ring sling in Marin- Most who know me know I love wearing babies. It just makes life easier plain and simple. I love Sakura Bloom slings for quality as well as sleekness because I also love simple solids over prints. I’ve been waiting to buy a chambray for a long time and while I hope to buy a new silk sling as well, that one I’d like to wait to chose a color after we know (as much as I love purple I just don’t think I can put a baby boy in purple). Marin is a blue/white almost like denim and goes with everything I own.
3. Mabo Kids trousers- how amazing are these colors? I’ve been drooling over chartreuse forever, better believe baby 3 will live in them.
4. Mar Mar Copenhagen– MarMar makes some seriously cute stuff for boys and girls. Simple and timeless but also a lot of modern prints. I found a fun print that’s good for boys or girls, of course neutral gray and sweet rouched sleeves that don’t make it feminine as much as it makes it infant and sweet. Doesn’t hurt that it’s super soft as well (may have purchased this one already).
5. MamaROO by 4Moms– I’ve been in awe of this beauty since we were pregnant with Harper and saw it swaying back and forth at Buy Buy Baby. Fortunately the price point on this has dropped since then, unfortunately it’s still on the higher end. We did have a wonderful swing for Harper and Willem but when you aren’t sure if there’s a third child in store for you it is a huge inconvenience to store such a big baby item so I sold it at a garage sale knowing full well that if we had another I’d want this swing anyway.
6. Klean Kanteen baby bottle– because how cool is a stainless steel baby bottle?! Perfect for all the camping this baby will be doing when it’s teeny tiny.
7. California Baby Calendula Cream– I am obsessed with the smell of California Baby calendula anything, that mixed with my poor offsprings tendencies towards skin irritation and excema and this tub will be gone in no time.
8.NaturSutton BPA-Free Natural Ruber Pacifier– I prefer the term pacifier over all the other nicknames they get but this one definitely looks like it should be called a dummy. Honestly I just think it looks kind of cool and want to try it but at $9 a pop I can’t imagine we will have more than a couple when I can buy our good ol Nuk’s at Target anytime for much less.
9. Stella & Wilbur Bonnets– Love these and you can customize them with linings, poms and bear ears. I will most likely wait to get one until I know what this baby is but this denim bonnet is such a beauty I couldn’t resist in adding it.
10. Jasmine Diffuser– I’m too afraid to put essential oils on a baby but diffusing is my jam. Must get one to put close to the bassinet since the other one is in constant use with On Guard in our living area and probably will be well until next summer.