Parenting and Presidents

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To all my friends using their children as tools of guilt and shame the outcome of this election: stop. Stop the “how will I explain this man to my kids.” Your kids are hardly influenced by what our president elect says but they do hear what you say, what the television is saying and they are listening to those evening conversations between adults. We set the tone for how our children interpret the world and the adult issues happening now.

I am a child of 1986 (barely a millennial) and I don’t remember either the Reagan or Bush presidencies however I do remember President Clinton. I remember him lying to us on TV and admitting that he lied. I remember learning about the Lewinski dress, not fully understanding the meaning behind a stain or what exactly happened besides the fact that he lied to everyone and we couldn’t stop talking or thinking about it. I remember the news, the scandal then the middle east and I remember learning about impeachment before it was taught in social studies.

The news is still good, because despite his remarks and mistakes I know that what he did was wrong both in action and intention and I am not a worse person for having him as a president. I have no strong feelings towards him at all.

Our president should not be the ideal that we hold ourselves to. The president isn’t even a daily discussion in our house but Jesus is. Jesus is the standard we hold ourselves and our children to, He is what we strive to model our actions and thoughts to and when my children face difficulties in life I want them to look to Jesus not “What would POTUS do?”
Presidents come and go they are mere men that will make multitudes of mistakes just like the rest of us. If the president becomes an idol over Jesus, no matter how great he or she may be, then something is wrong.

I’ve been absorbing myself in the Netflix series The Crown. In The Crown, Queen Elizabeth contemplates her role in governing and returns to the standard set in the British constitution: that there is the dignified and the efficient. The efficient is there to govern the people but the dignified is what the people uphold themselves to, an ideal. Our government, the elected body is there to be the efficient, let them pass laws and govern our country as we see fit and it is up to us to be the dignified, let us be the ones to uphold our moral code and show our kids what it takes to be a decent human being.

 

What Village

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Lately I’ve been dealing with real “why can’t I have that” jealousy. Not over materialistic items much to my surprise (I grew out of *most* of that years ago) but jealous of time and circumstance. And there is nothing I can do to change it or go about getting it.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “it takes a village” when if comes to raising children. What happens if you don’t have a village though? What if it’s just you and your husband treading water, syncing schedules and adapting as life comes at you with little outside help or influence?

Here’s what I’m talking about: Young families with close help. Families with young children that have aunts/uncles/grandparents close by and willing to help. We have a handful of friends that get days/a night/a weekend kid free while we pay babysitters for even 3 hours to ourselves.

{To be fair I do have help and I do have family help, just not close by and not the kind that says “oh let us take the boys for you guys.” Also to be fair I would never expect them to do that- this isn’t about them this is about my jealousy haha. me.me.me.}

Since the night we became parents 5 1/2 years ago Chad and I have spent 1 night kid free. That night wasn’t even up to us exactly, it was not a date night or a vacation, it was for a marriage retreat and some wonderful friends offered to keep our then 2 crazy boys.

Let that in. 5 years, 8 months and 15 days with only 1 night without kids. It wasn’t even 24 hours alone.

And this is our life situation. This is how our life turned out, we chose (kinda) to be parents, we chose to have a second baby and when we were planning our vacation from the first two the third baby decided to get in the way. I have literally not missed a single day of my kids life.

So what’s my point?

For those that do have the parents that say they will watch your kids Tuesday mornings so you can schedule a dental appointment without holding a 6 month old in your lap, or they will take your kids for the nigh/weekend/week/month so you can have a date night or quiet house: do not take them for granted. Treat them nicely, be grateful, even if they let your kid eat an entire loaf of bread and don’t poop for a week.

And as for me, I struggle with the jealousy but not the situation. I am beyond grateful that I have a husband that I can still rely on when the kids become too much. Even if we don’t get serious alone time I am not alone. I’m thankful for my kids and that I do get to spend so much time with them. I’m thankful for my independence that I can be a successful mother and wife and not wanting to rely on others. I am thankful for those that do help, family, friends and babysitters. I’m thankful for the finances to be able to pay a babysitter! And I’m thankful for a husband I actually want to spend time with and enjoy talking to.

Sometimes I even enjoy taking them all to the store at once, they are annoying but cute.

To our mothers, who are both coming over tomorrow (I’ll buy more wine but the floors might not get scrubbed): I wouldn’t change you. Thanks for all the help that you do offer, we appreciate it every minute. This wasn’t about you at all, I promise.

To my sons and their future spouses: I fear I may be the overbearing/smothering type when you have children. Please forgive me. Also if you have more than 3 kids you might be on your own.

Rage against the vaccine: My take on all of your anti-vaccine posts, Part 1

First I would like to make it very very clear that vaccinating your child is your choice, I really don’t care what you do. As far as I’m concerned you are damned if you do (your kid might get sick/die from the vaccine right away or when they are 80) damned if you don’t (your kid might not only contract and die from meningitis but they might also be responsible for spreading it to their entire kindergarten class). This post isn’t about to vaccinate or not to vaccinate, this post is about how sick I am that people in my Facebook news feed read these anti-vaccine propaganda heavy articles and because the publisher makes it look professional we will blindly believe everything we read.

This article in particular I have seen passed around numerous times and I finally looked at it, well I was inspired to make this post! First off the very unbiased site name vacineinformationnetwork.com where they say be educated but then have “be vaccine-free” book advertisements all along the right side. From that site you are directed to www.naturalnews.com which is the site that brings these findings to our attention. But not directly! Actually the vaccine informationetwork.com has you click on a link of “the findings” which is the article by the International Medical Council on Vaccines, the article is hosted by naturalnews.com. Nothing wrong with being natural but it’s not exactly The Washington Post and I’m not to sure how naturalnews.com does their research. From naturalnews.com you are directed to

Here is the link that started it all: www.vaccineinformationnetwork.com

and here is the actual article: www.naturalnews.com

I started by googling the International Medical council on Vaccinations and a Wikipedia page was the first thing on my search :wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaccine_controversies

That is actually one of the more educational articles on vaccines that you can find. However, it was a huge red flag to our article in question. If I’m researching your council and the first thing that pops up is controversy, you are in trouble.

 

Second hit on google was a science blog: http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2011/02/16/dr-suzanne-humphries-and-the-internation/

Where the author Orac posts:

A couple of weeks ago, I had a bit of fun with a position statement by the International Medical Council on Vaccination (IMCV), which I called, in my own inimitable fashion, The clueless cite the ignorant to argue against vaccines. That’s exactly what it was, too, some truly clueless anti-vaccinationists arguing against vaccines and bolstering their argument with a hilariously pathetic list of signatories, among which were noted anti-vaccine activists, chiropractors, homeopaths, and other dubious practitioners totaling only between 80-90. Among those signatories was a woman named Suzanne Humphries, MD. We’ve dealt with Dr. Humphries before when she expressed anger at being called a quack and warning us pharma shills and minions that the “revolution has begun.”

Orac is a surgeon/scientist according to his profile

After looking at a few more, I stopped trying to find the council as credible. I also found on their website that there is nothing “international” about them, I’d say its more like North American council and they say “hundreds” of doctors but I keep seeing the same names (Humphries and Butler) repeatedly and the article in question is only signed by maybe 50-60 medical representatives.

Here is the actual story. I will break it down as they have, posting first what they have printed, I copied and pasted directly and my response. Here we go.

Section 1:

Ever wonder why doctors can’t find the cause for many diseases? It’s because they are conditioned to ignore the relationship between illness and vaccines. These are some of the diseases that have documented associations with vaccines:

  • Allergies and eczema
  • Arthritis
  • Asthma
  • Autism
  • Acid reflux requiring an infant to take proton pump inhibitors, which have many side effects
  • Cancer
  • Diabetes (infant and childhood)
  • Kidney disease
  • Miscarriages
  • Long list of neurological and autoimmune diseases
  • Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
  • And many, many more

Response: I often wonder why doctors can’t just find the cure to death in general. Also I’m pretty sure every thing on this list was around pre-vaccines and also exists in unvaccinated people. I think it’s just a list of common illnesses that you can’t pinpoint blame from a direct source so hey why not add these to the list of problems that vaccines cause?! Not only is there no basis to the “relationship between illness and vaccines” but I find this list to be sad, what if some woman is thinking that by trying to protect herself by getting an MMR shot before heading off to her freshman year at college is now going through a miscarriage regretting and blaming herself for getting a shot when really it was just God’s plan. This list is a pathetic attempt to scare a person.

 

Section 2:

  • These are some known vaccine side effects, documented in medical literature and/or in package inserts: 
    • Arthritis, bleeding disorders, blood clots, heart attacks, sepsis
    • Ear infections
    • Fainting (with reports of broken bones)
    • Kidney failure requiring dialysis
    • Seizures/epilepsy
    • Severe allergic reactions, such as hives and anaphylaxis
    • Sudden death
    • Many common diagnoses given for hospital admissions.
    • The National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program, (NVICP) has awarded more than $1.2 billion in
      damages to children and adults injured by vaccines.

Response:

I find these to be valid with the exception of “Many common diagnoses given for hospital admissions” can that be more vague? Sounds like they just wanted to add something to the list so why not twist some words around a little.

Here are the side effects from Aleve (it was sitting right in front of me), the OTC pain medication, according to web md:

Upset stomach, nausea, heartburn, headache, drowsiness, or dizziness may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, tell your doctor or pharmacist promptly. Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects. Many people using this medication do not have serious side effects.

Tell your doctor right away if you have any serious side effects, including: easy bruising/bleeding, difficult/painful swallowing, hearing changes (such as ringing in the ears), mental/mood changes, swelling of the ankles/feet/hands, sudden/unexplained weight gain, change in the amount of urine, unexplained stiff neck, vision changes, unusual tiredness.

This drug may rarely cause serious (possibly fatal) liver disease. Get medical help right away if you have any symptoms of liver damage, including: dark urine, persistent nausea/vomiting/loss of appetite, stomach/abdominal pain, yellowing eyes/skin.

A very serious allergic reaction to this drug is rare. However, get medical help right away if you notice any symptoms of a serious allergic reaction, including: rash, itching/swelling (especially of the face/tongue/throat), severe dizziness, trouble breathing.

This is not a complete list of possible side effects. If you notice other effects not listed above, contact your doctor or pharmacist.

I’m just pointing out that all medications have risks. We can’t predict them, we can’t predict illness either but I for one try not to live in fear.

I’ll continue researching the councils findings, I know there’s some good autism accusations coming up that I can’t wait to look into but for now I have to take care of my own kids.

So, to be continued….